Frustrated...

We have about four months left of the deployment, yet I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our team leader went home this week for "medical" reasons, so he won't be coming back. Now our team has some extra stress, but we'll work through it. We found out that we will not be replaced by anyone when we leave, so I informed the Iraqi guys I'm working with about what will happen. I want to give them some training that will enable them to be a better unit, but still it seems that all they want is whatever free parts and equipment they can get. I try to tell them that when we leave that's it - they may never work with Americans again. There is one person, Lieutenant Ali, that has his head on right. He wants his Soldiers to learn how to fix the air conditioning on their Hummers because summer is coming. Something simple like this will leave a lasting impression and better his maintenance facility. He didn't ask for tools, parts, or anything else. All he wants for his unit is knowledge - I love it! Everyone else though, seems like all they can say is gimme gimme. I can't blame them though. Their supply system is full of corrupt leaders that demand payment before they release any parts or supplies that they have on hand. Maybe some day they will figure it out.

I'm also fed up with being away from my family. I miss them so much! I miss being home, I miss life itself. I had a dream last night where I was in my Hummer with LT Ali and I took a wrong turn on my way to his shop. We were driving down a dirt road surrounded by green fields (should have known it was a dream at this point) dotted with sunflowers and other patches of flowers that were red and purple and white. We turned a corner and came down a hill and saw a lake that was the deepest blue I'd ever seen, there were trees all around it that were had a light coating of frost like it had already been spring but there was a last effort of winter to leave its mark, and I said to myself I'll have to go back to my room and get my camera because it was the most beautiful scene ever. I can't put into words how pure this place seemed. Then a knock on my door brought me back to reality and I realized that I was still in Iraq. I'm still disappointed. Maybe I'll get back there tonight...